To say that I am a sap when it comes to romantic dramas, especially those of the British Period sort, is an understatement. I also really love cheese. I know that a lot of people love cheese, but I really, truly, seriously love cheese…a lot. I’d be quite happy eating quesadillas with guacamole and pico de gallo every day for lunch for the rest of my life.
I also don’t like when life is cheesy. Well, I guess I enjoy some aspects of cheese in the circumstances that I go through, I just don’t like the idea of doing what everyone else is doing. Yes, I realize that I am being fairly ordinary by writing this blog, but oh well. I’m pleased with myself.
I’m not even a hipster, though I secretly wish that I could be that cool. I’m just simply stubborn me. Like many, I don’t want to be predictable, but I am scared a lot of the time. I want to be extraordinary and to do something great (I’ve been watching too much of Grey’s Anatomy), but I fear failure. It’s a common fear that rips potential away from so many of us; so this year, I want to be more active in fighting against it.
2016 has been great for me. I’ve been given another year of life and experiences, and my health. That’s a blessing in it itself. I’ve also grown a lot, which has been painful at times, but I don’t see the pain as completely negative because I have learned so much through it all. As the new year quickly approaches, I have been hearing so many people discuss their New Year’s resolutions and I find myself thinking, “Why have I never set a resolution for the new year?” I do know the answer. It’s because I find them cheesy. It’s completely fine for others to do so, I just have never had the desire to set one for myself. I guess what I really don’t like about New Year’s resolutions is that every year we set new goals for our lives and then a few weeks later, we slip up and we give up on this vision of our new, improved selves.
It makes my skin crawl just thinking of setting a resolution and then having a slip up in a month and feeling like a failure. You see, that is just the fear speaking. Saying that we can’t get past our failures. That we should give up once we fall.
This next year, I’m going to bite the bullet and set a resolution. I am going to use this new year as an opportunity to be bold and embrace my failures as a part of my journey. I just have to write that I refuse to be cheesy about it. I refuse to say these words with the mentality that simply writing them will magically transform me into a new person. I will struggle with being bold. I will make mistakes, fail, and then want to give up and go back to my old, timid ways. I will have moments of resenting the fact that I decided to make myself grow in the first place because it will be uncomfortable. Knowing that I will hit these walls is what will equip me for handling these slip ups.
We all slip up. In fact, just a couple of days ago I slipped up. Literally. I was casually walking down the stairs in my house and up my feet went only to tumble down said stairs and land on my back with a step puncturing my spine. Oh! Just thinking about the initial pain of the force in my spine makes me cringe. My already injured back is now even more injured and I’ve had to force myself to lie flat on my back this New Years’s Eve and do practically nothing, but I can live with that. I can take that silly, painful fall, rest a little, brush myself off, and then get up tomorrow and try not to fall down the stairs again.
I am ready to fail. Through my failures, I will learn and I will grow. Through my failures, I will be bold. Through my failures, I will embrace, yes, even my cheesy self.
Okay, I’ve really had enough of lying around. I’m ready to drive and eat and dance and ice skate! Well, maybe I’ll wait another day or so for the latter two. Though, I’m sad to say, it truly is time for me to leave you now. But just for now.
It’s time that I run into my future without looking back.
Well, hmm. Perhaps I’ll stick to walking when it comes to stairs.
Actually, no! What’s the fun in that? Life’s about taking risks and running up and down stairs.
So, here is my call to be bold. Why not let life flow? Cheese and all.